The spring and the forest

My knife sliced through the boxes. I read the instructions. I used the screwdriver. Over and over again. The instructions were so frustrating accurate. The numbers of screws were so frustrating precise. I worked and worked with the screwdriver. The winther went by. Spring came. Some birds were singing outside. A sunbeam played with my hair. All the screws were on place. The empty boxes were burned. I went outside. The birds started singing even more. Made me welcome with a hymn. The sun made me warm. The garden was grey and green. Ready to turn back to life. And there. Just upside the house, I discovered it. The forest. It made a quiet swish. some birds inside tempted me. I went some small steps. A little bit closer. Then I was inside it.

New stuff

The house was empty. Well, it was full of boxes. But it was empty. All what a modern family needed to survive. It wasn`t there. No food. No electrical equipment. No chair to sit on. Not a bed to sleep in. The house was an empty shell, and we would not survive for long.
It was late afternoon. It was dark. And foggy. Cars came towards us with sharpen lights. I struggled to see where I was driving. The car and the trailer was empty, ready to be filled up again. We came to a large highway. Everything became bigger. And faster. The road directed us to the big city. We turned off halfway. Searched and found the biggest building I`ve ever seen. There were queues. So many cars everywhere. And people. And the feeling of not understanding what we did. We snirkeled forward in the queue. Almost nobody found a free parkingspace. And with our trailer it was even more difficult.
-Why don`t you just find a free space, she asked.
-Shut up, I replied.
-But why don`t you just stop here, she said.
So I stopped right there.
We came into this huge building. My God! So many people. Pregnant women and pregnant men. All kinds of cultures. And everyone with shoppingcharts and stressed eyes. Walking in queues. I could see it clearly. This building was the ultimate test for everyone who wanted to live together. I pushed the chart ahead of me.
-We need this, she said. -And this.
It was a kind of system. But I didn`t get it. There were some numbers. We needed to order some numbers. But where the hell were these numbers? I found a desk of information. It had a queue in front of it. It went so god damned slow. The faces all around were grumpy.
-I`m tired, she said.
-Yeah, yeah, I replied.
-And I´m hungry, she said.
I didn`t answer.
-I need something to eat. Now.
So we went out of the queue and into another. We walked around with the foodplate, struggled to find a table. People, people and people all around, eating. We found a small table. The food didn`t taste that good. Then it was back to that first queue. Then it was my turn. The young girl behind the desk stirred into her computer. Then she waved her quick look towards us. My hands were pale and wrapped around the handhold of the chart.
-I need some numbers, I said.
-You`ve done it all wrong, she said. -When you do it all wrong, then it`s your problem.
-but we have travelled far, and it`s late, and we are tired, and we need a bed, I said.
-Try that queue over there, she said and pointed.
Behind me was a young and unpatient couple with pregnant bellies. The girl behind the desk directed the couple forward with her eyes. I turned the heavy chart to the other queue.
-Why don`t you hurry, she said.
We came into a big hall. The merchandises were stabled on top of each other, into several kilometers high towers. I had written many numbers on a note. I searched around for the numbers. I leafed through curly papers. i lifted up heavy boxes. The chart slipped away. - Hold the chart, I said. -My legs are aching, she said. -But hold the chart, I said. But the chart was too small. -But where are all the bleedin numbers, I asked. -They are in that other hall, she answered. -But why do they need to have this stupid system, I said. -Take it easy, she said. -I`m taking it easy when I want to take it easy, I said. Then we came to thousands of new queues. As far as I could see. I searched for the shortest one. -But why don`t you just take this queue, she said. -Shut it, I said. We came to the payment. I lifted the boxes to the desk. Big things. Small things. So much. What would the prize be? Did we really need all this? -You will never understand what we need, she said. The girl behind the payment desk worked greedily. It said beep and it said beep. Again and again. I thought, "my God, this is gonna be expensive." I picked up my visa. But the reliefing sound didn`t come. The girl behind the desk looked into her computer. -You don`t have enough money, she said. -What, I replied. -But we`re supposed to have enough money. A lot of people stood behind us in the queue, staring at us. The girl had to make a phonecall. She said into the phone that she had some people without enough money. Then she said that we needed to take away some of the merchandises. And then we needed to move to another queue. I pushed the chart out to the parkinglot. I found the car and the trailer. -You can`t just leave the merchandises out here at the parkinglot, she said. -People around here are stealing easily from gullible people like you. I tossed the boxes into the trailer. -Be careful, she said.
We sat in the car. I waited to start the engine. Wanted to hear some silence. To hear if the car to protect us from the noise outside. Suddenly I punched the open hand at the steering wheel.
-Sick devil in hell! I will never, never do this again.
She looked at me.
-Relax, she said. -Now we got a bed.
Then she took up her hand and stroked it over my chin.

Inside the house

A smiling man greeted us. He was about to sell the house to us. He held his arm towards the open door. Invited us to come in.
There, inside, loads of boxes was already stabled. They were transported ahead of us. He showed us around. Explained about this and that.
I watched around me. On light walls. The afternoon darkness which a single light bulb could not push away. I went outside to the cool air. To heavy, wet snow. Some lamps was lit out in the garden. They made some snowflakes glow when they descended down. Over there were some garden bushes. It was so silent. Only the echo of a dog barking far away, somewhere in the forest.
The house was almost alone in the forest. Somehow, it felt safe. It was hidden and peaceful. It wasnt that special, really. It was "nice". Modern. Built with modern shortcuts. I could see one and another I could wish to change. But when we first had to move. Then we might as well move to this house. I felt that we could become friends. The house and I.
The salesman gave us the keys. He shook our hands. Then he left.
I sat down on a box. She looked at me. Smiled. Went over to me. Layed my head on to her belly. It felt good. Finally to rest into her warm and soft belly.

The house in the forest

Finally we managed to escape from the trucks, the salt and mud. On this road to hell.
Our story could have turned quite different if we continued on that road. But it wasn`t meant for us.
Now, the road got more narrow. We climbed upwards. It started to get dark again. We were tired. So we looked for a place to sleep. But this area was empty. We found signs that said "closed". It was a dark and thick forest. No people. No other cars. Maybe they all went to that other road.
-I need somewhere to sleep, she said. -You gotta find something. Quick!
I kept going. But the further we went, the forest got even thicker. The darkness got darker. We were in a nomansland.
But then. Somewhere ahead I saw a glimpse of a light. And then it opened up. A huge, wooden ox said "hello". We went around the streets. It was past midnight and no people around. Then we found the "Hotel Ox".
The car was strange and silent when I turned off the engine.
-You gotta carry the luggage, she said. I can`t do it.
A sleepy receptionist was just about to close. The room was dusty. But it was a room.
The next day we could see what the darkness had been hidden. Small, red and beautiful houses. Nice gardens.
We left the country and went into our own. It was close now. I turned into a narrow, gravel road. All around, it was what we had seen for quite a long time. Forest, forest. And there it was. The house in the forest.

Demonic trucks

A man was running around in the restaurant with a cd. He found the personell, explained and gesticulated. Then the song "Happy birthday to you" was screaming out in the restaurant in a foreign language. Almost everyone in the restaurant started to sing along. The man went over towards a boy with a cake and some candlelights. The boy smiled. People cheered. The man with the cd and cake was even more energetic.
This hotel was full of tourists that came from a country far south. They travelled to see how the north looked like. They wandered in and out of the hotel in thick scooteroutfit and helmets. Snowscooters was parked outside to show them a glimpse of Northern wilderness.
They were many. And they talked very much. And loud. They were so different. From the personell with the silent, Arctic temperament.
We sat at the table, tired and hungry. It was strange. To come into this new country with the silent people. Who served the travelling, energetic people.
Then "Happy birthday" screamed again. In the same, foreign language. And within our dessert, the song came out loud even a third time. The man with the cd and cakes jumped around. People shouted happily. They were so many in the restaurant, that three of them could have birthday at the same evening. The personell watched them silently from the wall.

The next morning.
The air outside the hotel was freezing, just as the northern, interior climate should be. Light snow descended slowly. The car had been kept warm all night from an engineheater. I could see it was too heavy at the back. The luggage was filled up both inside the car and in the trailer behind. I moved around some of the most heavy luggage, managed to balance the weight.
The car started happily. The snow squeeked under the tires as we started to move. Then we were out on the road again. Found the even pace, mile after mile.
We didnt want to feel it. The pain. All the fuzz. Quitting our jobs. Finding new ones. We sold our house at the fjord. Bought a new one in the south. Carried and carried the luggage to transport it to a new destination. We moved. Not because we wanted. But because we had to.
Some friends of us organized a farewell dinner party the evening before. We tried to make the leave-taking as quick as possible. Nothing else to do. We left this place up north in the Arctic. To move south. Far south. But we didnt want to feel the pain.
A truck came out in the road in front of us. It was loaded with thimber. Large amounts of snow whirled up behind it. I slowed down. Couldnt see much. We went out of this foreign country. And into another. The road got broader. The traffic more tight. But the truck was still there in front of us. Hour after hour. It was like a demon that leaded the way, further and further down south.
It got darker. The weather got warmer. The road was covered with salt, to melt the snow away. Black snow and salt sticked to the front window. The wiper tried as best as it could to throw it away. More trucks appeared into the road. Everyone big. Everyone driving quite slow. And everyone whirling up great amounts of mud and dirt.
She was silent, sitting beside me. Sometimes she stroked her hand over her belly. My back was aching. My eyes were burning. I couldnt almost see the road. Still, there was nothing else to do, but to follow the trucks, further on south.

The travel

Then we started driving. Without looking back. Without trying to feel anything. We turned left. Then onwards. Further and further away.
-I think I felt something, she said.
I looked in the mirror. The grey fjord was already gone. Snow swirled up from the trailer behind the car. The engine was singing. It was cloudy. The light told me it was late winter and afternoon. I looked ahead as I should do. Mountains with snow and some scattered mountain birches. A frozen river that swayed through the landscape.
Somewhere ahead I saw something. I slowed down. The road was blocked by two ambulances. A truck was lying in the ditch. I stopped. Some other cars stopped behind us. The situation seemed to be under control. Nothing else for us do but to wait. A woman from the car behind us came up beside our car. I rolled down the window.
-The road seems to be icy today, she said.
-Yes, indeed, I replied.
That`s how they did around here. People could talk to strangers as beeing the opposit of strangers.
-This might take some time. I think I want to turn and take the other road.
She nodded and turned back. I could see she was an experienced driver. But I wanted to wait and see what happened.
Two boys with no winter clothes went out of a bus and walked slowly up beside our car. Their hands were in the pockets and they were freezing. Someone must have told them not to go any further. So they went some small steps a little bit too much, smiling to each other. Making their own kind of protest against the authority.
Then something happened. The ambulances started moving.
It started to get darker. We crossed a bridge. Suddenly found ourselves outside the country. And inside another. More snow. And even more wood. She looked down at her belly. Smiled. Looked over at me.
-Could we please stop for the night? I`m tired.
I made a grin. It was seven o`clock. But in some situations a woman had to be obeyed. We came into a small town. Then a hotel. I turned over. The engine stopped. I opened the door and went out. Discovered I was quite dizzy. And the air around me was cold.