At the dinner table

The afternoon sun was blinking between the trees. My shoulders were aching because of the heavy backpack. I breathed over the bike on the rough country road. A car came behind and squeezed itself between me and a meeting car.

Outside work

I worked myself out of the office and out of work. I looked up. Blue. Spring afternoon.
-So, you`re cycling today as well?
I turned around. The colleague who came out of the door was smiling at me.
-Yes, it must be nice to cycle today, he said.
-Yes, today it`s fine, I said and smiled back to him.
I climbed on to the bike and rolled down towards the shop. I thought I should buy some food that was missing at home. The spring air was playing around my face.
A beggar was standing by the door to the store. I could not avoid his glance. -I don`t have any cash, I said and put up a smiling excuse. He just looked at me.
The store inside was sterile, angular and cold. It was not the place I went because I wanted to. But because I had to. Some sterile customers searched with their eyes after food. I opened the door to a big cooler and found some milk. And some mackerel in tomato sauce on tube. And some cheese. Behind me I found a cluster of bananas.
The shop man behind the cash register said a sterile "hello", when it beeped against the goods. "Do you want a plastic bag"? "No thanks". "Do you want your receipt, then?" "No thanks", I replied and gave him a sterile smile.
I put the goods into my bag. I noted that the bag was heavy behind my back when I stepped up the first uphill on the road home.

Outside the client

I could feel small rays of heat from the spring sun out there. Birds singing. I believed that was the sound I heard. I wrote a bit more on my computer while she spoke.
I stood up. -I will examine your case some more, then I`ll come back to you a little later, I said.
She stood up and shook my hand.
I opened the door of the meeting room and showed her the way out. I went back to my office and plugged my computer.
-How did it go, the second boss asked me at the door.
-Good, I said.
-Can you deliver a report to me before you finish today?
I nodded. He pounded two fingers twice on the door frame, turned and went away.
I looked at the document. "Quite a lot of trouble" I read. "Difficulty at home". "Economy".... Damn! I stared at the document. I had forgotten to write her name and number! I looked around me. The woman was gone. The second boss sat inside his own office, busy with new cases. I guessed. I started at the document. Then I saved it in a folder that I surnamed "difficult cases".

The client

-I got a client who need someone to talk to, a second boss said to me. He stood in the doorway and leaned one hand on the door frame.

-A client, I asked, and turned away from the computer.

-Yes, you got to take this, he said and glanced at his watch.

-I`m very busy, I said.

-Yeah, we all are. So this is yours, he replied.

He pounded two weak thuds on the doorframe with his fingers, turned and went out in the hallway. I heard that he spoke with some there, and soon a woman came with bewildered eyes into my office. I got up, closed the computer and put it under my arm. With my free hand I showed her the way to the meeting room. I made myself smile and showed her a chair. Then I opened my computer again and stared into the screen while I logged on. It often went so slow with this credential. Sometimes I could even forget my password, in particular in situations like this. Then I needed to open a new document. This could also be slow. I looked into the screen. The document would probably be present. Just not once. I stared into the screen as if I could loose the document if I didn`t regard it. Maybe it would show up and then disappear again unless I watched it.

And there it was. I wrote a title; "Meeting with a client". I looked up.

-Yes, how can I help you, I asked.

She looked at me. -Well, I´m having quite a lot of trouble, she said.

"Quite a lot of trouble", I wrote on the computer.

Dangerous Goblin path

Baby Goblin leaped easily along the forest trail. He jumped over some three trunks. Ducked under some twigs. Pig Goblin breathed heavily while his short legs trotted behind.

Baby Goblin slowed down.

-Look, he whispered happily. –There is his house.

The two sat down behind some bushes and peered down the house at the forest edge. The house was quiet down there. No human being was to see.

Pig Goblin coughed his throat as quiet as he could.

-Maybe they are not at home, he whispered with a muddy voice.

-Sure, we just have to wait a little, Baby Goblin said.

-But....what if some human beings came. It would be dangerous. If so, they would certainly try to catch us. Maybe Mother Goblin and Father Goblin want us to go back now. Maybe we should go now...

-Ssshhh, Baby Goblin said.

They listened intently and stared down the house.

Then the door latch went down slowly. And the door opened up. First, a man came out. Then a woman.

-Oh, God help us! They are so large, Pig Goblin whispered and trembled.

-L...look, Baby Goblin whispered.

Behind the two adults, a boy came out. He was dressed in a jacket with many colors. On his head he had a blue cap.

-It...it is the Little Lad in the house, Baby Goblin piped. H-hi, hi, Little Lad, Hiiii....

Baby had risen above the bushes and started waving with his hand.

-What are you doing, Pig Goblin hissed. He tossed over Baby Goblin and tored him down behind the bushes. –You must not do so. Tehy can see us! You must not do!

They heard a sound. And then something cruised out from a smaller house.

-Look, Baby Goblin shouted elated. –It is an automobile! The Little Lad is sitting inside an automobile! And now he will certainly travel to the gardenkinder!

Stone and gravel crunched under the wheels as they cruised away from the house.

Baby Goblin threw himself up.

-I want to see the gardenkinder, he cried.

-No! No, are you crazy? No we have to go home, Pig Goblin wheezed.

-No, I want to see the gardenkinder! Baby Goblin looked defiant down on Pig Goblin. Then he turned and ran away.

Goblin spring

Baby Goblin woke up with light in his face. He looked around. All his brothers had left for work early in the morning. He heard Mother Goblin and Father Goblin small talking. In a dark corner Pig Goblin was asleep, snoring.

Baby Goblin stood up and followed the light. He noticed that there was something special today. He opened the door. A mixture of warm and cool air greeted him. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. Baby Goblin leaped inside.

-Pig Goblin! Wake up! It is spring time! It is spring time! He shook the lazy pig.

The animal went into an extra powerful snore and clucked out loud.

-You must wake up and come with me outside. It is spring time!

The pig breathed heavily. -Spring time, he grunted.

-Yes, spring time! Come on, come out with me!

Pig Goblin got up, very heavily and waddled slowly. Baby Goblin ran along the path while the pig stumbled behind as best as he could.

-Do you know what I would like to do today, Baby Goblin said.

-No, Pig Goblin replied and breathed.

-I would like to see the little lad in the house.

-The little lad...but we are not allowed to do that, Pig Goblin said and looked anxious up on Baby Goblin.

-Nooo, but we will just look. And we can hide ourselves in the forest.

-Would you go completely down to the edge of the forest? But that is dangerous!

-Not if we are quiet and hide ourselves.

The pig got quiet. He had a deep wrinkle over his eyes. The sun rays were playing around them. The birds were singing an encouraged tune to them.

-Come on, let us go, Baby Goblin said and ran.

The pig looked at him. -Wait, he cried. -Do not run away from me.

The silent room

-Dad?

It came suddenly from the floor below. The little one was awake. I excused myself with a smile to my wife, dropped my knife and fork and went down the stairs.

He sat upright in bed and rubbed his eyes. His teddy bear beside him was still sleeping.

-Hey, are you awake, I asked.

-Are you at home, he asked.

-Yes, now I`m home.

I laid down beside him. He laid himself into my arm. We were lying quiet like this for a while. Then he took a deep breath.

-Have you been at work for a long time, he asked.

He had already learned this polite forest conversation.

-Yes, I replied. -But now I`m home.

-Mm, he said.

Then it was quiet again, in this gloom nursery. It kinda lived it`s own life, this room. It was as if it breathed just as quiet and peaceful. Together with the boy. And the teddy bear.

The boy took a deep breath again.

-Can you tell a story about The Little Goblin, he asked.

Late dinner

I pedaled past some neighboring houses inside the forest. One of the neighbors had made a snowball light. It was blinking happily in front of the house. I swung up to our house.

It was quiet there. The little one was already sleeping in his bed. I took off all my clothing and sweat soaked underwear, and found something new and dry.

-Hi, I heard from my wife in the living room. -There is some dinner on the table.

I went inside. She sat at the table. I sat down and found some cold sausages and potatoes on the plate.

-How was work today, she asked.

-As usually, I responded. I noted how the sausages and potatoes made my hungry stomach better. I looked up at her and laid down the fork and knife.

-Well, actually I`m quite tired about the whole thing. I would very much like to do something else.

-Like what, she asked.

-I don`t know. Something that could give me some more. Like hiking in the woods, making important thoughts...

-Like having some time off, you mean?

-No, but have more freedom to develop something which we don`t know for sure what we can earn from.

-Yeah, she said and looked into the air. -You haven`t asked me about how I`ve had my work today.

-No, how have you been?

-You never ask me that.

-Sure I do...

-No, never, she said. -But anyway. I have something to tell you. I just have to quit my own job. I can`t manage this no more. I`m completely worn out. I just have to quit, or I´ll become seriously ill.

I watched her.

-What?

-Yes, so it is.

-But...what about our economy?

-Yeah, what about it? She looked into my face.

-We can`t pay the loan and everything with only one revenue, I said.

-We just have to make it. The most important thing is that you got a wife who has her health in order. And I will use my time to look for something else in the long term, she said.

I looked down at the plate. Some potatoes and half of a sausage were left on it.

Back from work

I had sent a message to my wife and asked if I could work a little extra. She replied that I could. My colleagues stood up from their desks, packed their things, smiled and said "good afternoon". I replied a "good afternoon" and smiled back to them. Then it started to be quiet. I looked at my papers. A door slammed. Some footsteps. "Good afternoon" I heard behind me. "Good afternoon" I replied. It was the director. The captain who left the ship. It was silent again. I looked at the paper. Wrote something on the PC. The door slammed again. Some footsteps. "Good afternoon". It was the custodian who went around, turning off the lights, leaving the one in my office.  When the custodian was left, I was for sure alone in the building. I looked at the paper again. Wrote something on the PC. Found something to read on the PC. What would the others think of me? "There he sits again, working late again"? But I had to, when the amount of papers was so huge.

Finally I finished and stood up. I made everything ready for the journey back home and went down the dark stairs.

-Hey, there, working late as well?

Gee, I wasn`t alone, as I thought.

-Yes, I replied. -You too?

-Yes, he said. -But...are you going to drive your bicycle now?

-Yes, I will.

-Now, in the darkness?

-Yes, you know, I got my reflexes and bicycle lights, I responded.

-But is it not very cold now?

-No, no.

-But it must be very slippery on the road?

-No, not at all. I smiled to him and made my bike ready.

-Oh, well, pleasant journey, he said and went towards his car.

Out on the road the cars passed me in a hurry. Everyone wanted to get home as soon as possible. I passed some Christmas lights in a garden. They made the garden look green and joyful. A car came up behind me and quickly passed me. The car honked at me. A car behind him hung on the back end of the first car and rushed up on the side of me. He squeezed himself in front of me, just soon enough to avoid a collision of a meeting car. I sweared and pointed my finger at him. But no one could see the finger, because it was hidden inside a mitten.

At work we talked about certain types of motorists. Those who always drove in one, average speed, regardless of the speed limit. And those who always hung on the rear end of another car. Terrified to discharge the back end. Maybe it was a social issue, to always indulge in the back end of other people.

I came out of the densely populated area. Away from Christmas three lights in the gardens. The small light of the bike struggled to show me the road when I dived into the dark forest.

Work

-Oh, dear, have you been biking today, as well?
The colleague came behind me. The bike was parked. I opened the door to work, still with my helmet and safety vest on. And a tired and sweaty body inside the vest.
-Yes, I said. -I have been biking today, as well.
-But is it not terribly cold now?
-No, no, it`s not cold.
-But it must surely be very slippery on the road now?
-No, it`s not slippery at all.
-But you must be using studded tires, then?
-No, I don`t, I replied.
-You don`t, he said and glanced at me.
-No, no, I said.
I went to the shower used by employees. I tore off my sweaty clothes. Felt the warm water that engulfed my body. Turned my face up against the soft stream. I found some new, dry clothes. Went over to the cafeteria and a cup of coffee. Some colleagues said "hi". I replied with a "hi". I sat down at the office. The coffee was playing around in my body.
I looked at the work desk. It was pretty messy. Work matters. A huge stack of paper. I opened the computer to check how much work it actually was.

Winter bike

Two walls of dark and snowy spruce threes hung over the road that I rode on. The cold air was floating in and out of my lungs. I noted that one of the feets was something cold. It most likely was caused by the development of a hole in one of my boots. Not so good when salt and mud smashed around my legs. A little light from the bike told me that the road was full of slush and dirt. In contrast to the pure snow out in the ditch and up on the threes.

It was frustrating that the road was salted every morning. If there only was some snowflakes, the Department of Traffic was out there with their big monsters, throwing out tons of salt. It was something hysterical by it. A collective anxiety that one tried to cure with salt. The road got so ugly. It destroyed the impression of snow, cold and winter. And my bike got rusty and destroyed.

I had finished the bus. I found out that it was better to use the bike. Everything was sort of tiresome in the bus. Tired faces. Tired sounds. Tired landscapes. A bus driver who never gave any smile (nor did I, actually). The bike gave me time to hide away from all this tiresome. To be alone a bit. Once an elk trampled across the road in front of me. Otherwise it was only me. And the road. And the bike...yes, and cars who came behind me.

I heard the sound of one far behind there. It started as a weak whisper. It increased in strength. The strong light made the surrounding forest to shine. Then a "vosh", and the car was past. The mud splashed on to my boot with the hole.

I had done my best to be seen by the traffic in the darkness. I had a safety vest. Even a safety vest on the backpack. And a reflex around one of my legs. It was shining up and down while my feets pedaled. In addition it was blinking red behind me. I thought that all my lights and reflexes might look as a policeman who waved. it was the only illusion that could make car drivers to slow down.

A car came against me. I turned down my face to avoid the bright light. A new car came behind me. I could hear that the motorist back there had no thoughts about slowing down. Instead he increased his pace. He sputtered up on my side, and squeezed himself between me and the meeting car. The powerful air pressure from well over one ton of steel struck against me. "What the hell" I shouted. But the car was already gone behind a turn.

My back got sweaty. My thighs was aching up a long hill. The cold air made my lungs sore. I was out of the desolated forest and came to an area with houses. The traffic thickened.  A motorist who past me honked aggressively. I came to a roundabout and stared angrily against a motorist who would like to get into the roundabout before me. Then I swung into a calm bike path. I jumped off the bike and walked the final, steep path to the job.

Out

She put the boy down on the sofa and a blanket over him. Then she turned on the television. He got a bottle of milk and a plastic plate with a slice of bread. With pate. He looked at the television with sleepy eyes.

-By the way, something strange happened once I was in the woods, I said.

-Oh, yeah, she asked.

-It was if someone wanted me something.

-How is that?

-Yeah, as if they tried to reach me. Make a fool out of me, perhaps.

-What are you actually talking about, she asked.

-It was some slip of papers with some weird text, I answered.

-Like what?

-I don`t remember. A lot of nonsense. But I felt that they wanted to say something to me. As if someone stood and watched me. I had a very strong feeling of it.

She looked at me.

-Maybe you should tell this as well to the doctor, she said.

I breathed and put the lunch box in the bag. then I stood up and found my outerwear. She cleared the table and lifted the boy who had strewn bread crumbs all over the couch. She carried him down to the bathroom. I heard her humming while she tended him. I put on my bike helmet and the reflective vest. I went down to the bathroom. The boy stood half naked, chatting.

-Buy, my little friend, I said, and kissed him on the cheek.

-Au, your face is sticking, he said.

-Buy, I said and kissed my wife.

-Buy, cycle gently.

-Sure, I said.

I went outside. The icy, black air was beating against me. The snow crackled under my boots. I grabbed the bike out of the shed. I checked if the lighting was okay. Then I sat myself on the bike and  pushed the pedals.

Morning mood

The time took a quick turn. The dark autumn was past. And then there was winter. A white carpet had finally settled over the countryside.
The sound of small birds screamed from my mobile phone early in the morning. My wife stood up almost instantly. I heard the sound of the shower in the bathroom. Then I forced myself out of bed. I put on a cold johns and a couple of cold socks. I glanced into the room of the little one. He was still sleeping. He had started to sleep more in the morning after he started at the kindergarten. I went up to the chilled living room. Then I put some firewood into the woodburning. Soon it was burning brightly. I put on some coffee and glanced onto the cluttered workbench. My wife came up with wet hair and made breakfast.
We sat a little. We wanted to wait as long as possible before we woke up our boy. I took my hand around the hot coffee cup. My nose was sniffing the aroma. Both our faces was turned down to the table and each our mobile phone. I went through my emails. Only commercials. then into the browser and some news. Nothing much since last I checked.
I looked out the window. it was still dark out there.
-Have you booked a doctor`s appointment now, she asked.
I turned around.
-No, I replied.
-Then you need to do it.
-Yes, I will do it soon. I`m just very busy right now.
-Sure you are. But I`m sure you got time to book an appointment.
-It´s difficult to get off on the job now, I said.
-I can`t believe it`s that difficult, she replied.
She glanced down the stairs.
-Can you wake up our boy, she asked.
-You know I just hate that. Can`t you do it, I asked.
She breathed heavily and went down the stairs. At first it was completely quiet down there. Then I heard a sound of a duvet. Then came some weak mother sounds and finally some tired grunts from the small one. She turned up the stairs with heavy footsteps. The boy in soft pajamas hung with his arms and legs around her body. His head lay over her shoulder.
-Here is for sure a tire-wire, one, she said with her soft maternal voice.

Sleep

We slept painfully. She turned herself around and I did the same. Our breaths were rapid and uneven.
I came inside the house in the evening.
-Was she there, I asked.
-Yes, my wife replied.
-And?
-No, she didn`t make it. But I feel she is restful now. She and all the others.
Our breath jumped around in the bedroom, went out in the hallway. The small one slept in the child room. His breath was more calm and deep. Upstairs in the living room it was summer dark and quiet. All lights were turned off.  Only the refrigerator in the kitchen gave a small, faint hum. Outside there was a gray cloud over us that swirled up a cool breeze. It swung around the house and advanced inward. The spruce threes whizled in the summer twilight.

War

It was twisted metal. Shattered glass. Dust and smoke. Someone with a camera was shouting if anyone needed help. But no one answered. In the big city that was so close to us. And at the same time so remote.
My wife dropped the plate and raised her hand to the mouth.
-What is this? is it war?
The newsreader showed up.
-It seems that there`s more that happens, he said seriously.
Somewhere further away from the city. In the countryside, where the youngsters had gathered.
-No, my wife whispered. -I think she`s there.
We stood as petrified. We watched and watched. For many hours we watched. The same images over and over again.
Then I could not manage it no more. I shook myself loose. Ran out.

Outside it was completely silent. Eerily quiet. As if the forest held it`s breath. The sky was grey and distorted. I went over to the woodshed. I picked up a plank. The pain was stinging through the chest when the hammar layers rolled into the forest.

Home

Some dark clouds was approaching. Rain swung over a spot on the horizon. But we could see our house up ahead.

-Soon we`re home, I said.

-Dayapp, he said.

-Where in the world have you been, my wife asked.

-In the forest, I replied.

-Yes, but those walks of yours take some serious time, she said. -Was there any vipers in there?

-Vipers? No, there was no vipers to see, I said.

-So, everything is well, then?

-Sure, everything is well. But can you take him a bit? I need to work with the woodshed.

I lurked him out of the child carrier and lifted him out of it. He opened and closed his arms around his mother. She turned around and rushed into the house.

The woodshed. It was only half finished. It took longer than expected to build it. I believed it would be easy. But after a while, as I put up a post here and nailed a plank there, I found out that I needed to change the plan. And it was not that easy at all.

But it needed to finish soon. Cause around me was a big pile of half finished fire wood. And it didn't like the rain coming. I had stretched a tarpaulin over it. But it was full of holes after weather and winds. So then the water leaked into the holes. And the tarpaulin prevented the water to evaporate. Which was no good for the fire wood that needed to get dry. So. The woodshed needed to be finished soon. I nailed a plank in an angle out from the garage wall. I guessed it would secure the woodshed better.  The sound of the hammer echoed into the forest. I nailed more planks in the same angle. That would ensure the woodshed even more. I put up new planks the other way. That would make it even safer.

I sat down on a stump and picked up the phone. There was still some left on the battery. I opened the browser, found the address of a newspaper. The browser opened an image and a header.

I tossed up.-What the hell, I said. I ran into the house. -Put on the telly, I shouted. -What is it, my wife asked from the kitchen. The little lad was sitting in his chair in the living room with a clean diaper, new clothes, a sandwich and a cup of milk. -Put on the telly, I shouted again. But I didn't wait for her. I jumped over to the telly myself.

My wife approached. She had a plate and a kitchen towel in her hands. She looked into the current image of the telly.

-My God, she said.

The telephone

Suddenly the phone screamed. The little lad jumped slightly as he stood and studied a stump. I was studying some dead birch over me when the sound cut through the air. The phone had only one mark left in the battery. And now it laid in the heather and sputtered as a rat.

I looked down at it. Then I realised and picked it up.

-Hello, I said.

-Yes, hello. This is from The Bureau of Poison Control, a man said in the phone. -Are you the one who sent one image of a mushroom?

-Eh, yes, that was me, I said.

-Yes, the fungus, yes. It sure is an early one, this time of year. But it sure is a mushroom. Yes. We are several people here at the bureau who have studied the image carefully. And out of the image, if the light of the image makes our conclusion correct, we mean that this is a peppery bolete. It is not counted to be an edible fungi, and it has a very strong taste. So it`s a little wonder that the lad managed to swallow it. It even smell quite strongly. So, yes, it`s a little wonder. Maybe if it has been much rain where you are, then maybe the taste is a little diluted.

-But is it toxic, I asked fast.

-No, that is, it`s not an edible fungi. But it`s not directly dangerous to eat, so...

-So it`s not toxic?

-No, it`s not. That is again, if the light of the image makes our conclusion correct...but when I look at the image, then I...yes, no,... I can say for sure that this is a peppery bolete...yes I can.

I breathed out slowly.

-OK, thank you so much, I said.

-All right. Please contact me again if there is something more, he said.

I turned off and looked down at the lad. He sat and drew his hand over some cranberry heather.

-What do you say? Shall we go home, I asked.

He looked up at me.

-Dayapp, he replied.

Waiting

I glanced at the phone. No one had made a call. And the battery of the phone would soon get empty.
I touched myself. Yes, it was different on one side. Actually, it was something different on one foot too. And one arm. The hand and it`s fingers felt numb. And one side of my head. It felt like it was different than the other side. On one of the eyes, the forest was dark and odd. On the second eye not quite so. So, in other words, my health could be really serious bad.
And those paper notes. Those strange messages. What the heck was that? Were they meant for me? Was there someone who would tell me something? Or was it only me who started to become crazy?
I looked at the lad. The little one went around and glanced at the heather and undergrowth. He sang and chatted with himself. Found a stick. Tasted it a bit. Waved around with it in the air.
So, yes. What should I do? What if the battery on the phone got empty? What if the Bureau of Poison Control  could not call me? And Here I was, far away into the forest with a small boy who had eaten an unidentified mushroom. And I had no food around here. And in this forest that was so strange and dark. At least in one of my eye.
I glanced at my phone again. The battery was even weaker. Not much left.