Out

She put the boy down on the sofa and a blanket over him. Then she turned on the television. He got a bottle of milk and a plastic plate with a slice of bread. With pate. He looked at the television with sleepy eyes.

-By the way, something strange happened once I was in the woods, I said.

-Oh, yeah, she asked.

-It was if someone wanted me something.

-How is that?

-Yeah, as if they tried to reach me. Make a fool out of me, perhaps.

-What are you actually talking about, she asked.

-It was some slip of papers with some weird text, I answered.

-Like what?

-I don`t remember. A lot of nonsense. But I felt that they wanted to say something to me. As if someone stood and watched me. I had a very strong feeling of it.

She looked at me.

-Maybe you should tell this as well to the doctor, she said.

I breathed and put the lunch box in the bag. then I stood up and found my outerwear. She cleared the table and lifted the boy who had strewn bread crumbs all over the couch. She carried him down to the bathroom. I heard her humming while she tended him. I put on my bike helmet and the reflective vest. I went down to the bathroom. The boy stood half naked, chatting.

-Buy, my little friend, I said, and kissed him on the cheek.

-Au, your face is sticking, he said.

-Buy, I said and kissed my wife.

-Buy, cycle gently.

-Sure, I said.

I went outside. The icy, black air was beating against me. The snow crackled under my boots. I grabbed the bike out of the shed. I checked if the lighting was okay. Then I sat myself on the bike and  pushed the pedals.

Morning mood

The time took a quick turn. The dark autumn was past. And then there was winter. A white carpet had finally settled over the countryside.
The sound of small birds screamed from my mobile phone early in the morning. My wife stood up almost instantly. I heard the sound of the shower in the bathroom. Then I forced myself out of bed. I put on a cold johns and a couple of cold socks. I glanced into the room of the little one. He was still sleeping. He had started to sleep more in the morning after he started at the kindergarten. I went up to the chilled living room. Then I put some firewood into the woodburning. Soon it was burning brightly. I put on some coffee and glanced onto the cluttered workbench. My wife came up with wet hair and made breakfast.
We sat a little. We wanted to wait as long as possible before we woke up our boy. I took my hand around the hot coffee cup. My nose was sniffing the aroma. Both our faces was turned down to the table and each our mobile phone. I went through my emails. Only commercials. then into the browser and some news. Nothing much since last I checked.
I looked out the window. it was still dark out there.
-Have you booked a doctor`s appointment now, she asked.
I turned around.
-No, I replied.
-Then you need to do it.
-Yes, I will do it soon. I`m just very busy right now.
-Sure you are. But I`m sure you got time to book an appointment.
-It´s difficult to get off on the job now, I said.
-I can`t believe it`s that difficult, she replied.
She glanced down the stairs.
-Can you wake up our boy, she asked.
-You know I just hate that. Can`t you do it, I asked.
She breathed heavily and went down the stairs. At first it was completely quiet down there. Then I heard a sound of a duvet. Then came some weak mother sounds and finally some tired grunts from the small one. She turned up the stairs with heavy footsteps. The boy in soft pajamas hung with his arms and legs around her body. His head lay over her shoulder.
-Here is for sure a tire-wire, one, she said with her soft maternal voice.

Sleep

We slept painfully. She turned herself around and I did the same. Our breaths were rapid and uneven.
I came inside the house in the evening.
-Was she there, I asked.
-Yes, my wife replied.
-And?
-No, she didn`t make it. But I feel she is restful now. She and all the others.
Our breath jumped around in the bedroom, went out in the hallway. The small one slept in the child room. His breath was more calm and deep. Upstairs in the living room it was summer dark and quiet. All lights were turned off.  Only the refrigerator in the kitchen gave a small, faint hum. Outside there was a gray cloud over us that swirled up a cool breeze. It swung around the house and advanced inward. The spruce threes whizled in the summer twilight.

War

It was twisted metal. Shattered glass. Dust and smoke. Someone with a camera was shouting if anyone needed help. But no one answered. In the big city that was so close to us. And at the same time so remote.
My wife dropped the plate and raised her hand to the mouth.
-What is this? is it war?
The newsreader showed up.
-It seems that there`s more that happens, he said seriously.
Somewhere further away from the city. In the countryside, where the youngsters had gathered.
-No, my wife whispered. -I think she`s there.
We stood as petrified. We watched and watched. For many hours we watched. The same images over and over again.
Then I could not manage it no more. I shook myself loose. Ran out.

Outside it was completely silent. Eerily quiet. As if the forest held it`s breath. The sky was grey and distorted. I went over to the woodshed. I picked up a plank. The pain was stinging through the chest when the hammar layers rolled into the forest.